I have, many times, sat down to write out a new post, only to allow that certain “something” to dissuade and discourage me just enough that I manage to find something else to do. I decided that today would be the day to figure out why that is. Propped up in bed too sick and tired to do anything else, by the process of writing it out in “a stream of consciousness” (an ode to my high school honors English class), I will get to the root of the problem. And indeed, I feel it is a problem, a great disservice to myself and my family. I set up this blog as a way to chronicle all the high points of our unschooling adventure but often find myself intimidated with what to share and frankly discouraged at the prospect that no one really cares or is even listening. Even now, I write for myself, I guess.
There is much on my mind (as is always the case) but I don’t mean that in the way most assume. I am not troubled or weighed down with such thoughts, I simply can’t stop thinking. I am constantly amazed at the realizations that are taking place within the vast recesses of my mind. Recent events that have transpired in our lives have opened my mind and heart immensely and I cannot help but see things in a different light. I cannot help but be energized by the prospect of what is yet to be accomplished. The sheer knowledge that as I grow, my husband and children grow alongside me brings me such peace of mind and such enthusiasm for our lives together. And yet, though I feel I could burst and want nothing more than to share it all, I hesitate. I fear I will be judged for my free spirited ways; I am all too aware of the popular stigma attached to such “out-there” thinking. And yet, privately (though not for long it seems, heehee), I am filled with pride in my ability to be so open and accepting of that which is not “popular” thinking. And it is what I preach and teach to my children; individuality and integrity in your belief system even if no one should share the cause. And so I owe it to myself, to my kids, to my entire way of life to stop hiding, to stop holding back and to just express myself.
So then! If I were stop myself from my apparent vague rambling and try my utmost to clue you all in on what it is I am trying to say, here is what I would share . . .
Everything we know of ourselves and this world is connected. Past, present and future things to come, the people who have been in our lives, those in our lives now and those who will come into our lives, the events that have transpired, the events that happen now, the events to come, all of it; connected!! Birth and death are both the eventuality, an endless cycle that keeps on going. And regardess of what or who you feel is running the show, how it all began, where it is all going or how it will end doesn’t matter. All that I know is that I am here, I am present and am determined to make the most of myself and my life as I know it. This determination on my part has led to a greater understanding and peace of mind. My mind is clear and my path apparent. Woah! Did you just make that same connection I did? Is it apparent of “a-parent”? I have the most amazing opportunity to pave the way for my kids to live the most authentic life possible; to teach them, by example, by simply living, what it means to be true to yourself, to your calling. I am so grateful for that! And am also so blessed to have a companion who has seen fit to love and support and above all believe in me enough to allow me to do so. The decision to unschool our children has opened our horizons and led us to a path of free thinking in all areas of our life. It has allowed us tremendous room to grow within ourselves and in that process our path has become just that much clearer to us. Most importantly, we are no longer afraid to embrace that path and are ready more than ever to begin our new authentic life together. All that is left is to share it with the world in the hopes that we may inspire others to do the same. That is the sole focus of this blog, the reason I began this whole process in the first place.
My hope is that just one individual may be inspired or their paths enlightened to what is real and true and right for them and that they may know the joy that is living the authentic life.